A tribute- Please feel free to ignore. I have a blog entry after it.

Do do do do do do do do dooo! Do do do do do do do do!

(That would be the Friends theme tune for those who do not speak in “Do’s”)

Now, as you have probably guessed by now, I am not the world’s friendliest creature. Actually, I’m quite the opposite. I am mean, sarcastic, paranoid, spiteful and just plain evil. However, contrary to popular belief, I do have some friends who are Saints for sticking me this long. Today’s pathetic blog entry is dedicated to them personally.

These are the ones that support me, amuse me and generally make my life so much brighter. In no particular order....

Lyndsey Mann- We could be the worst of enemies because we are so utterly different. She’s open, honest, friendly and cheerful whereas I am none of these things. I call her my conscience because, although she tries to deny it, she is basically the human incarnation of everyone’s conscience! She has decided to have a rebellion this year though. She now does not do her top button, schemes and manipulates people, makes comments she would have slapped someone for making in the past and she tries to convince me to skip assembly.

She is my partner in crime and basically one of my best friends. If I ever want to do something to someone she is always there to help me. We can communicate by just looking at each other now. She is an awful gossip and we spent most Media lessons last year gossiping about people. However, now we have nothing to talk about because we have talked about it all! But she has the internet now!

When Lyndsey is excited she gasps really, really loudly. She also has a high pitched squeak. Very amusing!

Top Three Lyndsey Moments

• Lyndsey wrote a story with the title containing the name “Princess Hardknob”. She did not have a clue why everyone was keeling over laughing. Even Mr King thought it was funny and asked her to repeat it a few times! The roar of laughter in the classroom will still bring tears of laughter to my eyes. I plan to have “Here lies Princess Hardknob” engraved on her tomb stone.

• The “lunch mix-up” fiasco. Lyndsey sat down at the lunch table and opened a lunchbox which the thought was her own. She gasped really loudly when she realised that it was not her lunch. Panicking, she ran into the girls toilets and threw the lunchbox in, thinking she had stolen someone’s lunch when she was in the loo. She came back all relieved and calm until Kathy said “Here, have any of you seen my lunch?”

• A trip was planned to go to this Media Studies centre with our Media Studies class. The night before our school rang around everyone’s house to tell us that the trip had been cancelled. Lyndsey did not get this message. She arrived into school wearing her school uniform and without any books. Her best line ever... “YOU ARE SO EVIL!” to Mr King. Priceless!

Leigh Campbell- Leigh is weird. I don’t mean this in a mean way but she is very, very odd. Sometimes you don’t know whether you are coming or going with Leigh because you do not have a clue about what she is talking about. Although, what she is saying is usually very interesting, it is also usually brought up in the most bizarre times.

Leigh is unique because I have been her friend from we first met all those years ago. She had cancer as a child but has come back to kick it’s arse with vengeance. She is funny, intelligent, rather insane but very loveable!

You think she is a calm, quiet girl but I will officially displace this rumour and call her a predator! She does things that make me gasp!

Top Three Leigh moments

• When she basically jumped on her boyfriend and had a massive big slobbery kiss in front of innocent CHILDREN! Okay, it was “truth or dare” but she just yanked him and stuck the lips on the poor wee creature! It was a rather.... *wince* occasion.

• When she laughs it is the funniest thing ever. She gets full on laughing spasms and she bangs the table with tears running down her face. The utter joy on her face makes me smile every single time.

• We had to put on a scene from “Of Mice and Men”. I was Slim, Lyndsey was Candy, Leanne was Carlson (I think! I’ve forgotten!) and Leigh was Curley. We had a scene where we were playing cards and talking so I brought in real poker chips so it would look authentic. Leigh got so into her role she knocked the huge pile of poker chips into the audience who had to duck for cover. It was the funniest thing ever!

Emma Shorten- Emma is an unusual friend. I actually like her sometimes but sometimes she drives me up the wall. She is pretty good company if you are bored because she has a problem with breathing i.e. she doesn’t in her rush to talk.

I have discovered that I need Emma or else I get sick. It’s a cruel irony of my life. I need someone to boss around and have control over and Emma is the only one I can get away with it with! I don’t mean to hurt her maliciously but she really entertains me when she’s upset.

She probably doesn’t like me too much. I do sort of pick on her a little but I’m like that with most people! I remember I couldn’t even see Kelly without insulting her! I couldn’t even hold in my “YAY!” when she said I wouldn’t see her until August!

We have a love/hate relationship. Actually it’s more severely dislike/loathe but who is counting?

Greatest Emma Moments

• “You are really taking the BISCUIT!”- Emma is unable to hold in her biscuit stealing censure. She does not like to swear so she changes the swear words with food names. She told me I was “taking the biscuit” so I have decided to permanently think of new ways to steal Emma’s biscuits. I’ll never let her live it down!

• Emma looks a lot like Dory. Yes, the blue fish from Finding Nemo. She also chews her food like a cow. And does not know how to eat without flashing everyone. It’s vile.

• Lyndsey and I convinced Emma that she had blue pen all over her face. She spent an entire lunch time trying to get off the blue pen. We even got people walking past to tell her she had pen on her face. It was funny when she discovered we were lying. Even funnier when I actually drew on her face with blue pen. Actually, when doing so I almost poked out her eye with the pen. This was the funniest part...

Leanne Craig- Leanne and I are quite similar in personality except she is more extroverted and I am more hiding under a rock. We had a rather pointless argument that managed to stop us from speaking for nearly a year but now we’re fine and back in action!

Leanne loves English and would like to be an English teacher. She would be a perfect English teacher because she has the sort of personality of a cool-young hip English teacher. You might get the impression that she is an cherubic little goodie-two-shoes but she’s really, really not.

Actually she is quite the opposite. She smokes, drinks and does all kinds of things that make me blush. The original wolf-in-sheep-clothing person, she is. But we all love her because she is so smart and funny and just wonderful!

She is kind, compassionate, fun-loving and downright “cheeky”. When we weren’t speaking, not a day went past when I cursed myself for being so stupid as to make those comments because I knew I was missing out on being her friend. I am so lucky to have her back as a friend and she is one of the greatest people to ever walk the earth.

Top Leanne Moments

• Getting the poem she wrote for me after we agreed to be more civil. It was such a Leanne thing to do, you know? It is a beautiful poem and I hope she doesn’t mind me reposting it here.

You set your coffee by your side

And with my letter as a guide

You start to type your short reply

Remembering when we said goodbye.

You're going to cry, you know you will

As I stare at you from the window sill.

You remember the day and remember it well

Remember the pain, remember the hell,

Thinking, "why did we let it fade"

The friendship we both loved and made.

Now sorry's go without compromise

You can see the pain behind my eyes,

Hatred was never a word to use,

Your not a friend I want to lose!

Hurt and tears are how I explain

That the words you spoke caused me pain

I've thought of the words that you said

Gone over and over them in my head

I've a lot to learn about friendship me

But I’m being the best friend that I can be.

My friends are in my heart and there they'll stay,

They'll stay with me till my dying day!

I then began to gush about the poem. Yes, our first words after not speaking for nearly a year were about poetry. How English geeky is that? *does dance*

• “Spoon? Spoon? Has anyone lost a spoon?”- Yes Mr Best, Leanne had lost her spoon.
• “Bap and a Bickie”- Cant remember what this was about but I remember laughing a lot.
• Getting any email from  Leanne. It is the greatest experience ever. She knows exactly what to say to make you smile.
• When she wrote an amazing fanfic and everyone loved her! (Oh wait...she hasn’t done this yet.... :P)

Sarah Jones- Gosh, how to describe Sarah? She is a ditzy blonde who has brown hair. She is actually the most forgetful, ditzy little person in the entire world but she is one of the best friends I have.

Sarah may appear to be a silly little girl but she has so much intelligence and, when it really matters, so much empathy. Whenever I feel awful, she is always the first person I turn to because I know how brilliant she is at solving things and making me not be psychotic. The first person who gets to know all of my deepest darkest secrets too! I’m sure she is thrilled about that! *sarcastic*

She is a fun-loving type person who goes out every weekend to clubs and gets blocked. The usual “teenage girl”. She is completely boy-crazy, sex-crazy and just... crazy. I actually do not know what I would do if I fell out with her. She is one of the people I talk to the most and I love our little seven-odd hour conversations about... nothing really. She loves Andre from Outcast and I think she plans to kidnap him and marry him.

Haven’t spoken to her properly in a while.

I’m sorry this is a bad one but I actually can’t describe Sarah. It’s nearly impossible to pin her down!

Sarah’s Most Idiotic Phrases

• Me (laughing): And where was the Munich Putsch?

Sarah: Erm.. I know this one! What do you call it again?

• “Bulgaria? I thought that was in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang land!”

• “To stop the spread of communism”- Sarah’s answer to everything History related.

• Just anything with Sarah in History is funny. Especially the Mr Scott/Sarah relationship going on! No... not that sort of relationship you gutter folk!

Okay, there are tons more but I’ve forgotten them! Any more to add?

Amy Kennedy- Amy is the stereotypical girl’s girl. She could chose to sit with the “popular” groups of people but she’s got a brain and I hear you have to have yours removed before you can go near them. Amy is sweet, kind and just plain lovely. No other words to describe her because she is the most wonderful person!

She loves dolphins, art and pink. She wants to be a speech therapist so she can help people. She is appallingly good at all languages and does both French and Spanish which leads to some interesting bilingual confusions during exams.

She sat beside me in English for the last two years and I actually could not image it without her falling asleep beside me. She hates drama and all things related to performing in front of people. Amy and I managed to successfully teach ourselves trigonometry and simultaneous equations for a maths module and we now cheer when we see them now. Okay we don’t cheer.

She reminds me of Amy and Beth from Little Women which is funny because her full name is Amy Elizabeth Kennedy. *wise nod* Her parents were good at naming her!

Amy’s funniest

• Two words: Spanish Trip. Amy, Niamh and I went to Madrid with our school and had an absolute blast. We scared the 6th year who was stuck with us, we mocked Niamh and her inability to understand Spanish, we pranked people’s rooms and we launched a war against the food they tried to feed us. Pigeon anyone?

• “I just tripped over my make-up brush” – She has turned into Sarah

• Our little English bitching sessions!

• “Mr Best is a Stoon Speeler!”- Bless her poor little Amy socks. She tried to accuse Mr Best of stealing Leanne’s spoon but it came out rather wrong. Ironically, this is known as a spoonerism!

• Amy tries to like History.... Really, I can see her trying before she falls asleep.

Kelly Best- Even her name just makes me burst out laughing because of everything she has ever done. God, I’m actually giggling to myself as I think of Kelly!

She looks like Velma out of Scooby-Doo. We even told an innocent first year to look out for her. She has large, rather scary “Kelly-eyes” and large, rather scary “Kelly-hands”. She has an awkward way of moving when playing sports and kills things with her hands.

Kelly is an excellent friend. She always is there with her “Awwww!” which does help... sometimes. She is so fucking funny that it’s so hard not to laugh! It’s not her fault though!

She is appallingly good at languages and also does both. She has rather large eyes that just stare at you. She says “kk lol” so much you can predict her response to anything! Kelly does not like people. She becomes OBSESSED with them.

I don’t even want to tell you about the Dean obsession. She tried everything to get him to go out with her and the first time they did, I had to go too. She backstabbed, lied and manipulated her way through second/third year but she’s better now! She’s rather amusing! Four years later, she finally shows signs of perving over someone else. FOUR years of obsessing over one guy! Nuts!

Kelly moments!

• The Donald Duck Impression- She talks like a duck, rolls her eyes, jumps off her seat and quacks like a duck. All at the same time. I actually laughed for about an hour over this! I couldn’t move I was laughing so hard!

• Kelly trying to serve the ball when playing... any sport involving a ball. When playing badminton she merely chucks the shuttle cock over the net with her bat pretending she hit it! When playing Volleyball she attacks the ball with her large hands and smacks it basically. Term: Big Kelly Hands

• Guerrilla Warfare- Kelly hiding in a tree throwing things at people. The only way I could get Sarah and Amy to understand it! Now I can’t see the word without laughing!

• Kelly stares a lot. She has big eyes and just stares at you.

Okay there are so many more but I’m laughing so hard right now I can’t type them! Please send me some in by commenting if you have any!

These are just the closest friends. I have many acquaintances who I will not go into great detail about! I’m tired!

Are you all happy?